I am sure some people think this is dramatic..but, its not.
Its totally true for a lot of people. Me included.
I am on day 5 of my new workout program. There is a move that when i first saw it on day 1, I laughed. I really did. I was like....NO WAY.
NO WAY can i do that...and its ridiculous that this move would even be on day 1. Who do they think they are working with?!?
And so, I didn't even try. Didn't even give it a go. I know me, I know my body and I didn't see any good reason to even try because I just KNEW I couldn't do it...and everytime it has come up over this week...I instantly just went to the modification (with a huge eye roll of course).
This morning when I saw this quote come over my feed, it really hit me. LIKE A HUGE SMACK IN THE FACE. And I remember when I started this journey that I wasn't going to let fear stop me from doing things..in all areas of my life.
When I was coming to this move today, I thought about the quote and realized...what in the world am i afraid of? Getting embarrassed? I workout at home, who is gonna see me? What did I have to lose? Why was i afraid to try? Because i might fail? Fail at what? I mean, seriously? When i started thinking about it..it seemed crazy.
Who cares if i try and mess up or can't do it the whole time...WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? How will i know if i don't even try? Hell, i might even surprise myself. So, when the move came up...
And you know what...i did it for like 15 seconds...and thats it. HA! But, now...i know I can do it..and next time I am going to try and make it 16 seconds at least. Goals people!
Time is a relative concept and it moves either quickly or slowly depending on the circumstances of our life. I can't believe it's been exactly 2 years to the day that I signed up to be a coach with BeachBody. I've experienced a little of both- time flying and standing still. So, on my 2 year coach-aversary I thought I would share a little of my journey.
I ran the Missoula marathon thinking that the process leading up to that awesome experience would solve all my problems. The training was rigorous and intense so my hope was running could be the miracle cure I needed to lose weight, keep it off, and stay in shape. And while running can do those things, for me it was no miracle cure. (of course, I NOW know that NUTRITION is key and that i can't out run bad nutrition) I also learned there are no miracle cures. A friend of mine saw my Missoula pictures and read my posts and told me about BeachBody and suggested I try it. It was working for him so what did I have to lose?
I had tried some crazy things over the years and so i thought what could it hurt? AND...that 30 day money back guarantee had me sold. I signed on as a discount coach so I could lose weight and do it as cheap as possible...those were my aspirations. It took dedication and work but it felt great and I saw results that I could maintain because I was altering my whole life and not living off of various routines or diets. My life was improving and I was really happy with the changes occurring. Soon I decided to really start investing in the business and began assembling a team of coaches so I could make enough money to cover the cost of Shakeology...again, big aspirations. ha ha ha.
But then something crazy happened... I began interacting in the lives of my coaches and team members and the business became personal. The stories we were all sharing with each other transcended workouts and meals. We began investing in each other's lives and my goal shifted from just coaching to becoming a friend and someone who could encourage those around me.
I was surrounded by people just like me: awesome, amazing, beautiful people who felt like they could not achieve results because every other diet, fad and routine they tried failed to produce permanent results. We laughed and cried together while forming a community of accountability that inspired and pushed one another to be the best we could. Over time some left for various reasons and I wish them nothing but the best and want them to know they can rejoin the fold anytime they want. But many new people have joined to make our family stronger because each one of us adds something to the group.
I am not a person who has an easy time believing in my abilities. I wrestle with self-doubt and was afraid to try new things my whole life because I hate failing and would rather not try something (even if it looks amazing) than try it if I think I might not be perfect at it. But here's something I've learned over the last 2 years: there is no such thing as perfection. How I feel is a reflection of how I see myself myself and how I see myself is a result of my ability to believe in myself. It's taken two years for me to get here but I'm arriving more and more every day..
Who knows what the next 2 years will bring. I hope to be leading a team, a community of dedicated men and women who are willing to help one another like a family. I want to grow my business and this will take effort but I'm committed to it. I want to enjoy my family and get all I can out of every single day. The past 2 years have been filled with some of the most amazing highs and soul-crushing lows that I have ever experienced, but I am not only still here... I am flourishing and can't wait to see where I am in 2 more years.
Thank you for being with me on this journey. XOXO
I'm almost through my first week back from Summit and I want to give a shout out to someone who inspires me every day. Since returning, I've been working out to Beachbody's newest program called Shift Shop. I already think it will be one of my favorites. In all honesty, it is a much more demanding program than i am comfortable with, but great things come when we jump OUT of our comfort zones...right?! Anyway, I was prepared to go solo and power through it because I enjoy challenging myself.
My son has mentioned a few times that he wants to get into better shape and not just waste his summer doing nothing physically productive. He's your typical 15 year old male who splits his time between NBA 2K, teaching himself the guitar, and working a part time job. He is a fairly chill kid so I was happy when he wanted to work out with me. He has free weights and played football and ever since i started my at home workouts, he has been a little skeptical because how hard could it really be if "his mom was doing it."
There aren't many things harder than watching your child struggle. The first couple workouts were really rough and it was overwhelming for him because he wasn't prepared for the rigors of the program. He's the type of person who gets frustrated/angry when he feels like he can't do something (hmmm, I wonder where he gets that?) so he wanted to quit a lot. He was sweating and aching but I tried to my best to be his coach and not just his mom. He is almost 6 feet tall and 200 pounds but to me he will always be this little curly-haired kid with wide eyes and an infectious laugh.
But on this day he was a man struggling to keep up. He was tired and frustrated and wanted to stop but he kept going. And going. And going. He fought through it and paced himself and did what he could but he never stopped. He struggled and shook but he dug in and refused to quit even though it would have been easy and permissible because I wasn't making him do this- he wanted to. Those first couple workouts, we talked a lot about modification and that it is OK to modify. That we all have to start somewhere. How its not about doing the moves "perfectly", but just not giving up. There were hard conversations, some tears and lots of sweat. He has showed up, everyday.
Fast forward to today and he's hanging in there because he knows this is about a process and not instant results. He has grown up in a world where everything yields instant satisfaction and kids don't wait for anything longer than it takes to download an app. I am so proud that he is doing this with me because there are moments when I waiver and I want to stop just as badly as the next person.
And today...he told me to KEEP GOING, that we could do it. He was my cheerleader today. Looking next to me today gave me the strength to keep going.
Wow friends...I am sorry that it has been a while since i posted! But, if you know me at all or follow me...you know this last week was an incredibly busy week for me (Poor Planning on my part!). Today, I am sharing about one of my moments and in a few days I share about my half marathon...cuz it was awesome!
So, onto tonights thoughts...
In order to remember something you first have to forget something.
Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we switch into autopilot. Our days move slowly as circumstances drive us from one hour to the next. We slowly sink into routines that numb us to the things we once held dear and impassioned us. Going to the grocery store bleeds into washing clothes and working on those financial reports blend into cooking dinner and before we know it the evening is over.
Then the day is over. Then the week is over. Then month and year passes us by and we've made enough excuses to justify every decision we've shortchanged ourselves on. We barely recall we had things that motivated and empowered us. We sort of kind of have these faint impressions that life wasn't always this way... We remember.
I just spent the last week remembering why I love BeachBody. I was fortunate enough to attend the Summit in New Orleans just a week after I was having serious thoughts about what my future in BeachBody might be. I was doing all the right things and going through all the motions with my business but I was frustrated and discouraged because I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. I knew I wasn't failing because I refused to give up, but I was seriously unsettled and couldn't figure out why.
But this past week in the Big Easy reminded me that I not only enjoy what I do- But that I also love what I do. It's like a fresh vision was birthed inside me and spending quality time with business partners turned dear friends was a reminder that this is not just a business, it's a lifestyle. I am so excited to share this experience with all of you and help you remember that no matter what life is like today: you had dreams, you have dreams, and you will continue to dream. And the great thing is that your dreams can become a reality. I want to impart what I have and help you achieve the real goals you are afraid you can never reach. I am committed to my passion and want it to change your life as much as it has helped improve mine.
I want you to remember that.
Spoiler alert: Life is not a movie or a novel. We don't get commercial breaks and we can't DVR the parts we want to experience while deleting the rest. Sometimes things work out perfectly for a few minutes or hours or even days, but more often than not we end up reacting to whatever is thrown our way and out of our control. I am sitting here, trying to pack my stuff for 2 different events that have been in my calendar for a year...and i have feelings of disappointment, fear, excitement, joy, anger, anxiety, anticipation and disappointment..(oh, did i mentiion that already?)
This time last year I was enjoying the grand experience of being at my first Beachbody Summit. I soaked everything in and couldn't wait until this year where I knew I would be recognized on stage for my awesome achievements.
This time 2 years ago, I finished my first marathon in Missoula, ending months of agonizing training so I could fulfill a dream. I began thinking ahead to this year's marathon and how I would improve my time.
This time last year life was going well and my family was enjoying the beginnings of a relaxing summer. I anticipated this summer and the traveling we would do.
But then a funny thing happened: Reality exploded all around me...
I am attending my second Summit next week without having advanced in the organization as much as I wanted. I am not bringing my team with me like I had imagined and I am not at the level I just KNEW I would be. I worked hard this year but still came short of so many goals.
I am running a half-marathon tomorrow because an injury took me out of my training. I wanted to do a full so badly and even though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weaker than it used to be. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I am entering this summer after the hardest year, personally, I've ever had. There is no traveling or real vacation but we are going forward in spite of difficult circumstances. And after all of these, I want to share a little secret with you: We are the authors of our own stories in the sense that we get to decide how to fill in the pages when the curveballs come. We only succumb to the pain and sadness and despair when we stop trying. Just because my "timeline" is off...it doesn't mean i won't hit all these goals. It just means down the road...and i am ok with that.
Failing is not an option because it's an attitude and not a fact.
Every day I wake up and continue to press on is another victory for me because I know what I have come through and where I'm going. My life is defined not by theme music but by the character I display. I don't have endorsements but I do have the love and support of people who love and care for me. And I am not a failure because I know who I am. I can do this.
... I already am.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.