I don't think they make cards for days like tomorrow.
It was 22 years ago that Curt and I got married and started our life together. We were young and bright-eyed and going to take the world by storm because we thought we could do anything, together. We had very few material things and even fewer cares as we travelled the world together, doing what we loved.
Its hard to think about the last 2 years. Some days, i have no idea how we are going to get through and other days it almost seems like before "D-Day" (discovery day is what its called). But the last two years, the laughs have been fewer. The path has led to unforeseen places. Lives have been changed and dreams have been dashed. Our foundation was broken. Tomorrow is supposed to be an anniversary but how is a person supposed to celebrate something that hurts? There is no point commemorating a day that is a reminder of a broken life. I told you they don't really make cards for days like tomorrow, believe me...I spent quite a few hours looking. Fortunately, tomorrow is not the final word and there is another chapter or two left to spin the tale of a love redeemed and grace shown.
Because even though its been a bit of a roller coaster, the highs are more often than the lows. The smiles are beginning to resurface and hearts are beating again. Our life continues on with a measured pace but there is a bounce in our steps that was once forgotten. Life continues in ways we never intended but joy and hope now come around for longer, more deliberate visits.
Friendship is being restored and cultivated because while much of the past needed to be removed, some of it... the good parts of it... are being replanted and springing to life. And while this will never be a day I feel like throwing a party and celebrating, it can be a day that symbolizes that true love does cast out all fear. Tomorrow is a monument to the greatest sacrifice ever made and also to the one we make every day. We choose to love and forgive and move on because the faith and hope in what we will become is far more powerful than what has tried to define us.
Tomorrow might not be easy but I have hope and our future seems brighter than I thought it could be.
Here are some pics of 2018. And what i love is the smiles are real.
God is good.
It's quiet in the house. After a very full labor day or "laboring". The kids are busy doing their own thing because no school and because they are teens who keep to themselves. I had another full day of working on our home and i am so done.
It's been almost a month and half since my last entry and that doesn't mean I've neglected you all for the fun of it! We just bought our first home so life has been a whirlwind of all sorts of activities and emotions. We are probably about 2 weeks from being fully moved in and we have been working steadily every day to check things off of our list. Today was a 'paint the windows and trim and reinstall all the cabinet and cupboard doors' day. But it's exciting because we are doing this for ourselves... This is our house and we are taking it from mildly cute to utterly adorable.
But, just because something is exciting doesn't mean it isn't stressful. From the beginning, this process has taken me on highs and lows and even though we're nearly finished and almost moved in, there is still potential for me to fall back into old habits of stress eating...emotional eating. Finding comfort in food is something many of us do and can be okay if it's done in moderation and with wisdom. But it can also be a slippery slope that starts out with a snack here and a fast food dinner there because of convenience.
Been sanding walls or working in the back yard laying mulch all day? Your kitchen is in total disarray and you can't use the oven or counter space to prepare a decent, healthy meal? Eh... Go ahead and hit up Taco Bell. Tired and stressed because I am living out of boxes? Working late while shuffling the kids back and forth from school activities? Paying a mortgage and hoping my husband can fix the garbage disposal without the aid of a plumber? New neighbors and parallel parking our new street? Yes, my friend, I have now entered the potential world of stressful binge eating! BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I WILL.
So there you have it, friends. I promise my lack of posts arent because I don't care. I've just been insanely busy and it looks like we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel so things should normalize a little and I can get back to my normal routine. And hopefully this helps you a little because you don't have to fall back into prior habits and routines just because they are the path of least resistance. But the changes you make in your life can't be quick fixes if you want any real permanence. What's been life-altering for me is the fact that I have changed my entire mindset and lifestyle. It's not some weird program or hippie New Age regiment. I haven't exchanged my wardrobe for a fleet of yoga pants and I'm pretty certain there is nothing Gluten Free in my pantry.
I am simply living my life and have exchanged programs and gimmicks for longevity and health. Stress will come and go but my mindset will stay the same.
Today marks my third anniversary as a BeachBody coach and I cannot believe how quickly time has passed. I think there are several ways I could go with this post but after thinking about it, I would like to tell you how my life has changed over the last three years, thanks to my business.
First, I have been able to spend time with my family because I work from home. Before BeachBody, it was a struggle to make it to the kids' activities and I felt like I was missing out on so many aspects of their life. But over the past three years I have made it to countless football and volleyball games as well as school concerts, plays and other events. I am not missing my kids grow up right before my eyes. This summer has been especially important to me because I've had the pleasure of working out every day with my son who will be a junior in high school this fall. I have learned that time is precious and i am grateful for all i have been given.
There have also been significant financial blessings for our little lammclan. We have paid off our HUGE mountain of credit card debt that weighed so heavy on our shoulders for years. We have been able to pay for things that normally we might have to charge or at least wait for. All those "things that pop up out of nowhere that could cripple us...we have been able to deal with, daily! Are we dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking rich? Nope. But we do have some breathing room WHICH IS AMAZING, since that is something we previously did not have. I have been blessed to go to all the different retreats and conferences all over the US and my husband and I have been on all inclusive vacations. Things we would not be able to do before this. This is a business and I am always looking to expand things to generate more income, but that's not why I do this, which brings me to my final point:
The accountably and friendships I have made through Beachbody have been irreplaceable.
I got into this 36 months ago to cover the cost of my monthly Shakeology and to my pleasant surprise I have made some lasting friendships that are very important to me. I've spent most of my adult life trying to help others to some extent or another, whether I was volunteering at certain organizations or working with non-profits that took me all over the world.. And I've been able to continue this as a coach and mentor with Beachbody.
I have no idea what the next three years holds but I want to keep doing this full time. I want to impact others and have my life touched by those who work with me. I want to grow emotionally and physically as well as assist others along the way in their respective journeys. Its been an honor and a privilege to run this business and I am excited for the future!
Thanks for coming along for the ride. And if you have been watching from afar, i have a spot ready for you too!
Before i get to posting, I have to apologize for my absents. I have NO IDEA where June went. Oops. If you are reading this...thanks for sticking with me. Now. onto the goods.
Happy Independence Day! I love this holiday for two important reasons... First, our country is an amazing place to live and I think we are enriched by different cultures and people who have so much to offer and contribute to us. Secondly, my sister married a British guy so it's nice to yell, "We're number 1," once a year!
I'm sure you all have your own reasons for liking this day, but no matter how you feel, take some time to reflect back over the past year and notice what you are free from. Are there things or circumstances that used to hold you down and make you feel like you had no hope or future? What have you broken away from that you will never be bound by again? It's easy to get bogged down in our daily lives and lose perspective regarding all we have accomplished. Don't get caught in this trap; let the 4th of July be a bright reminder of what you are capable of.
Right now my family is going in a hundred different directions... My daughter is involved with high school volleyball and my son is busy with his job. Did I mention we are in the middle of trying to buy our first home?! But I am taking each day as an a opportunity to keep a balanced mind, soul, and body. I appreciate that my 2b Mindset is a lifestyle and not some program. I can look back over the past year and see all the things I've relinquished and how free I now am.
Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a happy 4th and let you know you are not alone in whatever hill you might be climbing or whatever struggle you are facing. Independence Day doesn't have to be just about history... Make it your present.
*** Just some of my favorite 4th memories.
Been reading alot today about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Kate Spade was such a powerful Badass. Anthony Bourdain was a great man and the world is a sadder, emptier place without them. Sadly, I dont know much about Kate, but our family watch Anthony all the time. Those who loved his writings and documentaries appreciated his authenticity and how he embraced life in all of its tragic beauty and wonder. It's exactly his love of life that makes today more confusing and heartbreaking. Like all of us, Tony Bourdain wrestled with his share of demons and like all us he looked for avenues to channel his eccentric passions to win those battles. He was amazing.
It's weird using the word "was" to talk about him. I don't know the details surrounding his death except that he took his own life. For whatever reason, he reached a point where ending his life seemed like the best possible solution and now those who enjoyed him and felt a connection are left to grieve a much less-interesting world. It's heartbreaking.
Mental health is an issue that our country is grappling with now more than ever. I'm not turning this into a political post or throwing shade at certain people because Anthony sought to find issues that united us instead of dividing us. I will honor him by trying to do the same. But we need to learn to accept help and resources when we struggle. We need to people listen and not judge. We need to help and not be condescending.
I have come through some very dark places in my own life and it was only my faith and the support of friends and family that helped me make it. I was fortunate to have outlets for my anger and pain. I exercised and poured myself into my business and was blessed to have an entire community to stand with me and help me through. I do not take this for granted and know the power of love I felt from my peers and coaches. Not everyone has something like this.
We are amazing at hiding our feelings and keeping others at bay if we don't want them to know what we are going through. Don't be this way. Yell, run, scream, dance, write, sob... But reach out and let someone know what you are going through. The world lost one great person today so we can't afford to lose anymore.
If you or someone you know needs help, call (800) 273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741741 to access free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.