It was love at first sight ❤️
I bought it without even trying it on. I had to have it. I had every intention of wearing it that summer. And you know how it is. life happens.
First, it was folded up on top of a shelf in my closet. It was packed there for a long time and I mostly forgot about it. Occasionally I would think about it and contemplate looking at it. It spent a little time on a hanger nestled among other things that I had; things that I used all the time. I actually even stored it under my bed for a couple years. It was easier to forget about it than it was to know it existed but was unusable.
From 1999 until today it was always something that was theoretical.
But not anymore.
Today I wore a dress that I dearly love but have never had the confidence to wear. ( 1. because it never fit properly and 2. because I just was too nervous/afraid to do it ) Today was a culmination of dreams and hopes and a lot of hard work. I am proud of many things in my life and I know that being this excited over wearing a dress might not seem like too big of a deal and actually, it's not the dress at all that is the main point. It's that I was able to fulfill a goal that I had given up on for years.
8 to be exact.
Every now and then I'd dust off the dream and work for it but life would get in the way and eventually I would give up on it.
But not anymore. Today was an amazing day and I looked beautiful and felt amazing and wanted to encourage you that just because some dreams take a while to come true, it doesn't mean they won't.
Last minute packing is one of those exercises that we've all done a thousand times. I was throwing things together for my BeachBody trip to the Dominican Republic and one of the last things to make the cut was a book I almost didn't even bother bringing. I started reading it months ago but didn't finish because we all know that life gets in the way of our plans. I'm really glad I stuffed it into my carry-on.
My whole life I've been taught that forgiveness is one of the most important concepts in the world. Honestly, when you grow up hearing about something so much, it sort of loses its meaning and impact because I know I've been forgiven for lots of things in my life and I am humbled to be the recipient of grace. But over the last six months I have experienced the other side of forgiveness and being the person who actually forgives someone else is a process I am working through.
It's not just as easy as snapping your fingers and making the past disappear. Forgiveness isn't the same as forgetfulness because no matter how hard we want to erase somethings from our memory, life just doesn't work that way. Forgiveness means I release someone else from the wrongs they did to me. I don't excuse what happened and it's never an admittance that things are okay, but it's the first step in allowing that person to change and by doing so, allowing myself to move forward. I am really releasing myself from anger and hurt and pain by choosing to extend grace and mercy. Forgiveness is for me.
I believe in reconciliation and hope for a future because forgiveness tells me that even though I won't ever forget the past, it doesn't mean the past controls me. Right now I am in a resort in Punta Cana and this trip was supposed to be a celebration of 20 years of marriage for me and Curt. A few months ago I didn't think we both would be here but, God can do some amazing things. And because He has helped me to forgive, it is like a reset in our marriage and life. By forgiving, I extend hope and it doesn't matter what others think because, ultimately, I am the one who is living my life. Forgiveness is my choice because no one can do it for me.
It's crazy because I knew BeachBody could change my life in some ways but I never imagined it would provide a platform for reconciliation. What started out as a hobby turned into a job and has now grown into something that I will credit with saving my family. I am in a place to show grace and forgiveness because I know who I am.
I can't believe I started this countdown 63 days ago.
As you can see, there are black marked out squares....Alot more than i wanted. But, thats ok. the point is...i didn't quit. I didn't give up. I kept going. Even though at times, i felt like i was failing. Forget about failure.
If we really TRY, that is a huge success. Regardless of what you’re trying to do – finish college, get in shape, start a business, making a difference, etc. – you have already achieved something by simply putting in the effort.
I started this lifestyle change 1 1/2 years ago. I wanted to be at my goal already. I thought I would be. I have seen people throughout this process that reached there goal way faster than me..and slower than me. But, sometimes things don't go the way we plan or how we plan or in the amount of time we plan.
And thats ok...
You just have to hold your head up and be proud of the progress you have made. For a perfectionist (me 😎) ...sometimes it seems better to quit then to fail. But...that's not true. Instead of taking a bunch of steps backwards, we just need to make the necessary adjustments and keep going!
No step towards your goal is a small one.
I will be heading out in a few hours to meet with a bunch of other beachbody coaches. "Old Tina" would have cancelled the trip because I was too embarrassed to go not being at the goal i set for myself.
I am so stoked to be have earned this trip. To be going. #operationpuntacana is done. I am damn proud of the work I put in. I wasn't perfect, but I never am, so nothing new there! ha ha ha 🤣 I will be going confidently and happily. I will enjoy every damn day because I earned it. I worked hard for it...and I won't let a number on a scale or "missing abs" take that away from me.
I did see lots of changes during the last 63 days...most of them on my mind and heart. I did lose inches, pounds and gained some arm muscles from SO MANY PUSHUPS (still hate Autumn Calabrese😜 )
Why am i sharing this? Because:
👊🏼Im getting stronger.
👊🏼I didnt quit.
👊🏼Im still going.
And if its possible for this 43 year old mama...it can happen for you.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.