Life is built around expectations and memories and sometimes it's up to us to adjust both if we want to avoid driving ourselves crazy. I just spent the last three days relaxing with my family in a resort that we went to QUITE few years ago, when my kids were younger and life was simpler. We dropped a decent chunk of change to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend. (thanks to Beachbody ;-) ) Things didn't really go according to plan. But that's life, right?
My husband and I booked a room and made arrangements to do some things that were awesome a few years ago, when our kids weren't on the verge of being 10th and 8th graders. We quickly discovered that family vacations are going to be different from this point on. We got off to a rocky start because our kids have changed so much and we sort of expected them to enjoy something they had outgrown through no fault of their own. It was awkward and my first thought was, "Are you freaking kidding me, why can't you be grateful?"
My expectations were based on memories and if we wanted to have any sort of fun it was my husband and I who had to adjust. It's difficult watching your kids grow up right in front of you and no matter how badly you want to keep and protect them from all the grown up worries you deal with, you know it's only a matter of time before they move on and start families of their own. I will always have my memories but now they are centered around conversations and interaction and not telling the kids what to do and monitoring their every movement. And it's hard but amazing.
The weekend ended up going well and we still did some goofy things and laughed and just kicked back. But life is changing and now I see my kids for who they were, who they are are, and who they can become. They will always be my "kids" and no matter how tall my son gets or how my daughter continues to grow, I will still see pigtails and floaty armbands in the pool. But now I appreciate well-thought out conversation and hearing their thoughts on life. They don't cling to me but their sideways hugs mean the world because I know they are choosing to do it.
We swam and went to the movies and had some great food but the greatest moments came on the balcony, just talking and enjoying the blazing heat. Or preparing lunch in our room while creating food combinations that should not ever be duplicated. It was these times... Riding the gondola up the mountain was wonderful but it was the conversations that reminded me how amazing my kids are. We all adjusted and had a good time.
Yeah, this Memorial Day didn't go according to plan but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
To all you beautiful people:
-Stop doubting your self worth.
-Stop telling yourself you can't.
-Stop letting someone else's opinion define you.
-Start loving yourself.
-Start telling yourself you can and you WILL!
-Start realizing you are enough.
Being a people pleaser, for years I let other peoples' opinions of me define my value. I allowed my self limiting beliefs define who I was. I told myself I wasn't good enough, I had nothing to offer, and that I couldn't do this or do that...so that is exactly what I did...NOTHING!
It wasn't until I felt like I was completely hopeless that I realized I was tired of feeling that way. I was tired of watching other people live life. I was tired of feel stuck. I wanted to be the hero in my own life. I wanted to save me.
It is CRAZY how horrible we talk to ourselves. Think about the negative things you tell yourself. Would you ever allow that to fly to someone you care about? Would you stand by and let someone say things to people you LOVE like that? Would you say things like that to anyone? Would you tell them they are fat, or no good, or not worthy, or that they aren't capable? Would you tell them to quit trying because they will NEVER do it?
You would encourage and support them. You would tell them to dream and know that anything is possible. You want them to know how much they are truly loved and valued and you would fight anyone who tries to tell them differently. Right? That is exactly what you need to do for yourself.
Do me a favor.. write down 3 positive affirmations to tell yourself each day; once when you first wake up and once before you go to bed each day. Spend just a few minutes each day telling yourself these things. But the clincher here is that you need to say them and BELIEVE THEM. You have to truly try to believe them. It might be hard at first, but it will get easier.
To be honest, this whole "love yourself" thing was a little uncomfortable for me at first. I would tell myself positive things I didn't really "feel" yet. But over time, something magical happened...I started to BELIEVE! And belief in yourself is pretty incredible. It can change your mindset, your attitude, your day. It can change your life.
My hope is that all you beautiful people can learn to love yourself. As much as your loved ones do.
Share this with a loved one who needs a reminder of how special they are.
BE KIND WITH HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOURSELF...BECAUSE, YOU ARE LISTENING.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.