Ok...so, I am pretty embarrassed that it has been almost a month of nothing on my blog.
Our family has seen some pretty major things happen and I have some really great excuses and reasons. But, all i can do is say i will do better. Please stick with me, I started this blog and I dont want to let it go to the wayside. So, like everything else in my life...here is to my fresh start. Today, my husband actually wanted to "guest write" my post. So, enjoy <3
I thought I would take a minute to commandeer my wife's blog for a minute so I might add a little outside perspective. Every day I have a front row ticket to Tina's juggling act that involves her business as well as all the things she does for us, as a family. Somedays I can see her joy and determination as she tries to grow things while other days I see the sadness she's terrible at hiding when her coaches are struggling or having difficulties. Most nights we go to bed at the same time but I nod off long before she does because she is still helping people as she lies next to me with her computer in her lap.
Yesterday she invited me to do a workout with her and before I could rationally think about it, I blurted out, "Sure!" I used to work out regularly but haven't done anything recently that would even remotely be considered any sort of physical endeavor. I still didn't think I would have much trouble because I have a long and illustrious history of over-estimating my abilities. (Two days prior to this I had an argument with my teenager daughter about how I could probably make the next olympics if I set my mind to it. Albeit, I was referring to Curling, but that still counts). Anyway, you get my point... I would probably knock 22 Hardcorp out the park.
We both started off strongly and then things got interesting. About 7 minutes in, I was hurting and having conversations in my head with Tony Horton that aren't suitable for this post. I was sweaty and my tummy hurt and I was quite sure I shredded my Achilles, my MCL, and perhaps had even contracted a bout of Scurvy somewhere in between the gorilla crawls and the galactic burpees. I finished the workout but by the end I made the modifier look like an American Ninja Warrior.
And all the while Tina just keep plugging along like the Engergizer Bunny. I saw that I need to make some adjustments in my life and am now considering how to move forward. But I was inspired by my wife and just wanted to give a shoutout to her because she works so hard and inspires so many people that I don't know every day. But yesterday it was my turn. She was patient and helpful and made me feel like I could it. I got to be a client for a few minutes and realized how fortunate her team is.
Thank, Tina... I'm your biggest fan.
So...i had to come share something not very flattering..but a total NSV for me. A win in my book.
For years...I have not been in pictures with the kids. I was too embarrassed. Too insecure. Too Uncomfortable. Too fat...blah blah blah. I always made sure to be the one taking the pictures. And now..when we look at the photo albums (yes, actual pics😜) I am barely in any of them..and if i am, I'm in the back or its just my face. If i HAD to be in a picture, i made sure i was strategically placed or that someone else was... I was the queen of reasons/excuses.
I will never forget one time looking at the photo albums with Sophie and she asked where i was...how come i wasn't around. Why didnt i spend time with them when they were little...😳 It totally broke my heart. I hated that i put my insecurities first and I never gave it a second thought what my kids would think when they looked at those pictures.
So, today...we took some fun/dumb pics of our memories for our future selves...and i made sure to be in them. In my mind, i was pretty proud of myself. When we came in the house..i noticed of course my flaws...the cellulite still on my legs. As someone that has been on this healthy journey for the last 2 years and that works out at least 5 days most weeks...im not gonna lie..at first i almost deleted the picture. I was upset and was just like..seriously??? I don't want evidence of me like this... It just didn't feel like it was a good picture of the hard work i have put in. The 45+ pounds i have lost...the 40+ inches i have shed. My legs are so strong now..and when i looked at the picture, i didn't see strength.
And then..i remembered that talk with Sophie. I want them to look back at today and see i was with them. That my very strong muscular legs with a little extra love... was with them...
That i was present...cellulite and all <3
I love the 4th of July. I wanted to write a great post for today, but I just cant do as good of a job as my hubby, so...I thought i would let him write todays post. (So, if you have issues with it...sorry, its not me ;-) )
Today you are celebrating another birthday and I want to thank you for being big enough to envelope all of us. You began as an idea and morphed into an experiment until eventually becoming a reality. And at the core of your identity, you've always championed freedom. It's been a process, for sure, and thankfully today's version of 'self-evident equality' is much more inclusive to people who don't look just like the founders. America... You are learning.
I want to pay homage to those who were here before Columbus and the Mayflower and honor those who were brought here by force and made to serve others. Some of our families have lived here for generations while others have carved out a life in the shadows of always looking over our shoulders because America is a chance for a better life even if others don't want us here.
We seem to highlight our differences with venom and a sense of indignant intolerance. It's easy to point out what we don't like about each other. But I think we have so many more things that unite us and bind us together. I wish we'd spend more time focusing on all the commonalities we have and learn to appreciate these differences. America is great because of them, not in spite of them. Today is a day to celebrate our country and one another.
So, I don't care if you voted for Trump or supported Hillary. It doesn't matter if you were a Bernie fanatic or loved Gary Johnson or Jill Stein. You are my brother or sister whether you were born here or are living here undocumented. Gay, straight, Christian, Muslim, left handed, green eyed, Steelers OR Ravens fan, Pepsi lover... I don't care. I love and respect you because you are a human.
Happy 4th of July and I hope that we can extend these feelings until at least the 5th!
Life is built around expectations and memories and sometimes it's up to us to adjust both if we want to avoid driving ourselves crazy. I just spent the last three days relaxing with my family in a resort that we went to QUITE few years ago, when my kids were younger and life was simpler. We dropped a decent chunk of change to enjoy the Memorial Day weekend. (thanks to Beachbody ;-) ) Things didn't really go according to plan. But that's life, right?
My husband and I booked a room and made arrangements to do some things that were awesome a few years ago, when our kids weren't on the verge of being 10th and 8th graders. We quickly discovered that family vacations are going to be different from this point on. We got off to a rocky start because our kids have changed so much and we sort of expected them to enjoy something they had outgrown through no fault of their own. It was awkward and my first thought was, "Are you freaking kidding me, why can't you be grateful?"
My expectations were based on memories and if we wanted to have any sort of fun it was my husband and I who had to adjust. It's difficult watching your kids grow up right in front of you and no matter how badly you want to keep and protect them from all the grown up worries you deal with, you know it's only a matter of time before they move on and start families of their own. I will always have my memories but now they are centered around conversations and interaction and not telling the kids what to do and monitoring their every movement. And it's hard but amazing.
The weekend ended up going well and we still did some goofy things and laughed and just kicked back. But life is changing and now I see my kids for who they were, who they are are, and who they can become. They will always be my "kids" and no matter how tall my son gets or how my daughter continues to grow, I will still see pigtails and floaty armbands in the pool. But now I appreciate well-thought out conversation and hearing their thoughts on life. They don't cling to me but their sideways hugs mean the world because I know they are choosing to do it.
We swam and went to the movies and had some great food but the greatest moments came on the balcony, just talking and enjoying the blazing heat. Or preparing lunch in our room while creating food combinations that should not ever be duplicated. It was these times... Riding the gondola up the mountain was wonderful but it was the conversations that reminded me how amazing my kids are. We all adjusted and had a good time.
Yeah, this Memorial Day didn't go according to plan but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
This morning while I was downloading all my important "stuff" off my dying computer onto a hard drive. I noticed the date of this picture...12 years to the day.
It really does seem like yesterday. I can so clearly see that afternoon in my mind. And all I keep thinking when I look at this..is I remember being annoyed at Simon for messing up my folded laundry AFTER i had already told him no...all because he was trying to make Sophie laugh.
I used to hate the advice from people about "enjoy every moment" and "the days are long but the years are short". "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory"
Now, i have become THAT mom. I tell people all the time these same words. And its only because my heart breaks to think of all the times that I didnt enjoy the little things. That i was more bothered and annoyed at them tugging at me or climbing on me when i was trying to do something. Or just always being under foot when i was doing really important things...like cleaning, laundry...just stuff.
My kids are 15 & 12 (almost 13) now. And i am desperate to spend any time they will give me. Simon is busy with school, football and friends. Sophie is already at her friends houses anytime she can be. So, I am really trying to be present with them while i still have time.
Here are a few things Im working on...maybe something will jump out at you:
~Get unplugged – turn off your phone, or the computer, or the television just for a little while. No matter how useful they are, trechnology will distract us from being present with our children. Who, by the way, will notice when we are distracted.
~Stop with the "to do list"- realize that what you have accomplished so far is good enough for today. Instead of focusing on getting it all done go and enjoy some time with your children. I must confess as a recovering perfectionist I continue to struggle to put this idea into practice.
~Take the time to really notice your children while they are still with you.- Listen to them when they talk. Really listen. Notice the personalites, the things they love to do. I am trying so hard to ask about their days and really care. If they are talking to me...its important enough to them to share. I try to pop in their rooms while they are "busy"...they might seem annoyed, but the days i don't, Sophie will come out and ask why i haven't checked on her. #heartmelts
~You won't remember it all.-If you enjoy writing use a journal to create a record of your days with your children. Write about the special moments you have with your children; record the funny and insightful things they say; describe the way they looked. One day these journal entries will hold a treasure trove of memories both for you and your children. I used to think..i will never forget such and such...sadly...I am wishing i would have taken the time to write them down.
It is not too late, we can slow down our days and learn how to treasure the precious moments we have with our kids. Its not always easy to change how we do things...but, if its important to us, we will figure it out.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.