Spoiler alert: Life is not a movie or a novel. We don't get commercial breaks and we can't DVR the parts we want to experience while deleting the rest. Sometimes things work out perfectly for a few minutes or hours or even days, but more often than not we end up reacting to whatever is thrown our way and out of our control. I am sitting here, trying to pack my stuff for 2 different events that have been in my calendar for a year...and i have feelings of disappointment, fear, excitement, joy, anger, anxiety, anticipation and disappointment..(oh, did i mentiion that already?)
This time last year I was enjoying the grand experience of being at my first Beachbody Summit. I soaked everything in and couldn't wait until this year where I knew I would be recognized on stage for my awesome achievements.
This time 2 years ago, I finished my first marathon in Missoula, ending months of agonizing training so I could fulfill a dream. I began thinking ahead to this year's marathon and how I would improve my time.
This time last year life was going well and my family was enjoying the beginnings of a relaxing summer. I anticipated this summer and the traveling we would do.
But then a funny thing happened: Reality exploded all around me...
I am attending my second Summit next week without having advanced in the organization as much as I wanted. I am not bringing my team with me like I had imagined and I am not at the level I just KNEW I would be. I worked hard this year but still came short of so many goals.
I am running a half-marathon tomorrow because an injury took me out of my training. I wanted to do a full so badly and even though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weaker than it used to be. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I am entering this summer after the hardest year, personally, I've ever had. There is no traveling or real vacation but we are going forward in spite of difficult circumstances. And after all of these, I want to share a little secret with you: We are the authors of our own stories in the sense that we get to decide how to fill in the pages when the curveballs come. We only succumb to the pain and sadness and despair when we stop trying. Just because my "timeline" is off...it doesn't mean i won't hit all these goals. It just means down the road...and i am ok with that.
Failing is not an option because it's an attitude and not a fact.
Every day I wake up and continue to press on is another victory for me because I know what I have come through and where I'm going. My life is defined not by theme music but by the character I display. I don't have endorsements but I do have the love and support of people who love and care for me. And I am not a failure because I know who I am. I can do this.
... I already am.
During my long run this morning, I had a few hours to think. To think about the meaning of life, why I chose to run this or that distance on purpose, why my daughter snuggles up close to me after she has already devoured her dinner staring at mine because how in the world could she still be hungry, and how I live where most people vacation. One of my thoughts that stuck out to me more than the rest was the fact that in running as in life, everything is relative.
2 things that I can’t stop thinking about:
Your journey is your own.
A few years ago when i was training for my first marathon, I ran a lot of races during training. I used to get so mad at those people—yeah, you know who they are—those people who torment you silently, running back to the start line after they have finished the race you still have not finished. I used to look at these people with contempt and wonder why they would want to run more than the required miles in the first place, and also, why they would parade in front of people who clearly didn’t have a fast bone in their body! They aren’t jerks. They aren’t showing off or being arrogant. What they probably are doing is taking advantage of a marked course, the opportunity to get a longer run in with (maybe) some faster running. Or, they might be sooo awesome that they are encouraging & supporting a fellow runner who hasn’t finished yet. Everyone has their own journey, so quit judging. Quit looking around and comparing. Just run your race…the best you can, with everything you can.
Everything is relative.
I have learned an important thing to remember is that everything is relative. What a long run to you may seem impossible for someone else and vice-versa. Or a workout you might not even sweat in…might need to be motified by someone else. Let’s always keep in mind that everyone has different goals, methods to achieve those goals and most importantly—that we are not all at the same place in our journeys. Enjoy your own journey. Push yourself if you want. Support and encourage one another no matter where we are and do not get discouraged by people who run longer, are faster, are more experienced or who can lift more weights or do the whole workout without stopping. It doesn’t matter what anyone else does. All we need to worry about is taking the first step to start and then the next step and the next…
Just do you <3
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.