Spoiler alert: Life is not a movie or a novel. We don't get commercial breaks and we can't DVR the parts we want to experience while deleting the rest. Sometimes things work out perfectly for a few minutes or hours or even days, but more often than not we end up reacting to whatever is thrown our way and out of our control. I am sitting here, trying to pack my stuff for 2 different events that have been in my calendar for a year...and i have feelings of disappointment, fear, excitement, joy, anger, anxiety, anticipation and disappointment..(oh, did i mentiion that already?)
This time last year I was enjoying the grand experience of being at my first Beachbody Summit. I soaked everything in and couldn't wait until this year where I knew I would be recognized on stage for my awesome achievements.
This time 2 years ago, I finished my first marathon in Missoula, ending months of agonizing training so I could fulfill a dream. I began thinking ahead to this year's marathon and how I would improve my time.
This time last year life was going well and my family was enjoying the beginnings of a relaxing summer. I anticipated this summer and the traveling we would do.
But then a funny thing happened: Reality exploded all around me...
I am attending my second Summit next week without having advanced in the organization as much as I wanted. I am not bringing my team with me like I had imagined and I am not at the level I just KNEW I would be. I worked hard this year but still came short of so many goals.
I am running a half-marathon tomorrow because an injury took me out of my training. I wanted to do a full so badly and even though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weaker than it used to be. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I am entering this summer after the hardest year, personally, I've ever had. There is no traveling or real vacation but we are going forward in spite of difficult circumstances. And after all of these, I want to share a little secret with you: We are the authors of our own stories in the sense that we get to decide how to fill in the pages when the curveballs come. We only succumb to the pain and sadness and despair when we stop trying. Just because my "timeline" is off...it doesn't mean i won't hit all these goals. It just means down the road...and i am ok with that.
Failing is not an option because it's an attitude and not a fact.
Every day I wake up and continue to press on is another victory for me because I know what I have come through and where I'm going. My life is defined not by theme music but by the character I display. I don't have endorsements but I do have the love and support of people who love and care for me. And I am not a failure because I know who I am. I can do this.
... I already am.
Im a 44 year old Mom taking charge of her health and who's passionate about helping you live your healthiest, happiest life.